How Do I Control My Lust?

As human beings, we are susceptible to becoming victims to our feelings. Sometimes we can’t help but let our feelings of sadness or anger take over. In moderation, all feelings are considered to be a normal expression of one’s self. In excess, however, feelings like lust can get out of control and create a spiral that is hard for the victim to come out. 

What is Lust?

While women fall victim to lust, men are mostly the ones that are susceptible to temptation and find themselves in tricky situations. Instead of thinking logically, lust creates this very heady experience for the male in which testosterone courses through his body. Logic goes out the window and the male isn’t really looking for a connection; he’s more into the physicality of the relationship. 

What Does It Do?

Signs include being lovers but not really friends outside of that. There is no romantic connection; you are mainly focused on the other person’s looks and/or body. You would rather have sex than have conversations. You would rather not discuss real feelings instead keeping the relationship on a fantasy level.

How Should I Control My Lust?

Lust is a healthy feeling in moderation and can flatter your partner or the person you are directing the attention to, but you must be conscious that you are not making the other person uncomfortable.

Men are more likely to be able to have sex without being in a relationship with their partner so they occasionally approach flirting with a lot of zeal. Pay attention to their body language. If you are feeling them up and they are squirming away, take the hint and stop. Have a truthful conversation with them and explain that they evoke such feelings within you but make sure you respect their boundaries at all times.

Also be sure that the connections you are making are ones that are meaningful and that you could see them continuing and maybe blossoming into something in the future. By picking partners for meaningless encounters you’re enabling yourself to allow lust to control you instead of you controlling it. You should be seeking partners with whom you enjoy spending time, possibly want to meet their friends and family and respect and genuinely enjoy hearing what they have to say. Having this respect for your partner will help you see them as something other than just an object for you to lust after.

If you’re single and find lustful thoughts ruling you at home, consider taking matters into your own hands and masturbate in moderation. This form of self love allows you to explore your lusty feelings in a safe, private environment. You can relieve yourself of that built up sexual tension and move on to getting positive things done. You can try to redirect your sexual energy into activities like yoga, writing or running. Work on a new project for your place or channel that energy into a painting. You’d be amazed how your creative juices flow when you’re bursting with juices of your own.